Have a great 24th year ahead, babe.
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"When I get lonely these days, I think : So be lonely, Liz. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome the human experience. But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings.""The Bhagavad Gita - that ancient Indian yogic text - says that it is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection. So now I have started living my own life. Impefrect as it may look it is resembling me now, thoroughly.""In a world of disorder,disaster and fraud, sometimes only beauty can be trusted. Only artistic excellence is incorruptible. Pleasure cannot be bargained down. And sometimes the meal is the only currency that is real.""But I felt a glimmer of happiness when I started learning Italian, and when you sense a faint potential of happiness after such dark times you must grab onto the ankles of that happiness and not let go until it drags you face-first out of the dirt - this is not selfishness, but obligation. You were given life; it is your duty (and also your entitlement as a human being) to find something beautiful within life, no matter how slight.""Imagine that the universe is a great spinning engine. You want to stay near the core of the things - right in the hub of the wheel - not out at the edges where all the wild whirling takes place, where you get can frayed and crazy. The hub of calmness - that's your heart."
"In that moment, it was as if my strong mother reached across the table, opened her fist and finally showed me the handful of bullets she'd had to bite over the decades in order to stay happily married to my father - and she was happily married to my father."
I spent my last weekend like any other single (and sane) person would do in KL – mall hopping, despite being sick icky icky poo. My body was so warm and I swear you could fry an egg on my forehead. Damn this fever.
Anyway, while loitering around Mid Valley Megamall, I saw this cute cobalt blue tarantula and knowing how hard it is to find cobalt blue species here in Malaysia, I was ecstatic. Even if they are here, it would cost a bomb for a tiny baby tarantula of its kind. But this one was selling for RM150 so it was relatively cheap, considering it’s about a year old now.
This gorgeous baby is well-known for its aggressiveness thus not suitable for amateur keepers like me. What the heck, I had always liked cobalt blue tarantula and there’s no way I’m not getting it right now. Besides, what’s the worst thing that could happen anyway?
Actually the worst thing that could happen is being bitten by the five-inch-long tarantula and experiencing seizure-like pain up to your chest within 5 minutes. Still, I don’t care. I’m taking my chances.
Since both of my tarantulas, the orange baboon Seraphine and the cobalt blue Crissy are notorious for their hot-tempered, aggressive nature, I chose not to put them in the same container. Now they are both proud owners of their own tank with each building their own webs, tunnels and small caves.
Oh, as for the name Crissy, you must have known how I came up with the name. Which Crissy namesake is associated with good looks, the World Cup and Armani underwear anyway?
I just love seeing these two gorgeous kids doing their thing everyday.
The pursuit of love is pretty much similar to going to clubs.
Sometimes you have a certain expectation before hitting the club, other times you just head straight to it without anticipating anything; you just go with the flow, as they say. Some might get lucky – they might get all the perks of both good music and good company in the club while the rest might not. They’ll grow bored and chose to call it a night way earlier than the last round of tune plays. Some might see the ones they would love to dance with but too afraid of making a move and waiting for the signal from the other end to do so (which often doesn’t come) but others just jump right into it, extending their hand for a congenial ‘Hello’ and let the night take its turn.
If you chose to see the many facets of people searching for love, there it is - lying right in front of you on the dancefloor. From a quick glance, it is vibrant, full of life, jumping up and down, full of smiling faces. But take a second look – there are the bored ones in the corner, the trying-so-hard ones which still get no attention, the ones being there just for the sake of another company but left ignored by the latter and the posers who actually have so many insecurities and other kinds of people.
But when we have that perfect one in front of us, then comes the next big question mark – why do we like the one that we like? Crushes come and go as passing interests but real love (perhaps?) stays forever like a bad tattoo. Someone asked me “Why do you like me?” and I don’t have the answer to respond to that and still don’t. If liking/loving someone can be measured or have a distinct index like how MAMPU measures KPI or how restaurants are graded according to Michelin stars, I would be the first one to come out with my own report with full analysis.
Sadly they don’t. So there I was hanging at loss for words when he asked me about it.
I wished I could have tell him how I enjoyed being with him, impressed by his intelligence (I’m turned on by brainy people – Paris Hilton included, she’s smart alright. I’m dead serious), marveled at his preppy clothes, soothed by his puppy eyes, delighted by his company and just glad to be with him in between the said stuff. Sounds cheesy but that’s just how I like him so get over it alright.
People always have doubts about relationships. They say it won’t last. The distance won’t make the heart grow fonder. No two people could remain monogamous. The sparkle will fade within a year; two years top. If one gets fatter, uglier than it’s time for the other one to move on. Opposites do not attract. And so many other skeptical stuff.
I have no idea about most people so I can’t speak on their behalf. But as for me, I’ve proven most of the ill-sayings above wrong. Whole-heartedly I believe if you are into someone, you should jump into it, seize the opportunity, grab the moment and see how it goes. The last time I tried it lasted for six years and ended just because of growing commitments, yet the sparkle was still there at that very last dot. Still, it’s worth the try and was amazing while it lasted.
Wouldn’t it be easier if pursuing for love is as black-and-white as job-hunting? You search for any opening/vacancy, submit your resume complete with impressive co-curriculum vitae stating how good you were as a partner in the past (and why it didn’t work out) and wait for the feedback. You would be notified if you don’t succeed, even more if you actually do. Besides, you could always call and ask directly the status of your application without having to play with flirting games, signals, waiting for calls and other tiring acts.
But that’s the beauty of relationship anyway. It makes all the pain, sweat and sleepless nights worth it – only when it actually worked out fine. If not, back to square one.
Someone told me I could make a Facebook status by this issue but I told him I could turn it into a blog entry instead. Chico, I’ve made it as an entry today.