Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Pause and Looking at Life

The new Columbia Asia Hospital Dad went for his regular gout check-up. Spiffy.

I had my mid-semester break cum Chinese New Year holidays last week for about 10 days and I headed back North to Taiping to be around my folks.

That was when I truly realized that my folks are not getting any younger. Mom was having more arthritis problems and gout has been a regular visitor for Dad. Even getting up and down was a trouble for Mom due to her weak knees, there was no other option for her except to help Dad out when he was lying there unable to move around.

Though I was there for a week, I couldn't really help out much because at the end of the day, I'll be going back to KL and they both will be alone at home.

True, they might be alright in usual days but still it would be tough to cope with the house chores , and worrying me should something go wrong.

Then it rang in my head, maybe it was my responsibility to go back and stay with them. Abandon every vanity, every dream that I've been rooting for all these years for a simple, quiet life with them and to take care of them. At least, just to oversee their well-being.

True, Mom (and maybe Dad) haven't got over me changing my course, still being naggy and picking on me whenever they could but they're still my parents. Like Ann Jie said while we were having lunch at the faculty's cafe the other day, you find your utmost happiness in your family but they are the one responsible for your every depression and misery as well.

My brother and sister have their own family and perhaps taking care of these folks are no longer their top priority. So it leaves just me, the lonesome single guy with no intention for marriage in the nearest sight, incumbent and responsible to take care of them.

Just like when I took destistry/medicine, just to please them because the other two weren't. So, the responsibility immediately and automatically fell onto me. Weird.

It wasn't something far from reach. It's possible if I wanted to and should The One show me that that is the path I should be taking, then take it I must.

Sigh. Families, can't live with them, can't live without 'em.


zhenhui said...

i get scared about my parents getting old too sometimes...

it's kinda scary in a way ain't it :(

Khairizan Yaacob said...

so true..