Wednesday, December 31, 2008

For Auld Lang Syne

Here I am, in this dark room on the last afternoon of 2008.

Alone but not lonely, all silent yet still loud.

Things have passed, people died, changes made. And now the time is up. Moving on to year 2009.

Thanks to the early wishers, be it new year or birthday, Ayi, Ann Jie and Fifi. Not forgetting Zafirah and Fa who really wanna cheer me up and made celebration plans for the eve.

Still, I couldn't afford to move a muscle to smile. Lots of things lingering around.

Most importantly, the same old question resonates in my head:

"Why can't the people whom I wanted so badly to be happy for me, be happy for me?"

I'm not sure if it's even grammatically correct to put it that way but I know you're with me. You got the idea.

Why can't you accept your son is finally doing something that he likes and get over it?

Life isn't always about what you wanted, what you planned to be. Yes, I chose not to be stuck in dentistry because at the end of the day, it's me who'll be telling my children "I never liked my job, I did it because your grandparents asked me so."

And now, I'm finally in the place where I belong. I love what I'm studying now, I'm able to explore new horizons, expand my creativity, express myself and who I really am inside out. I'm happy, contented, blessed and grateful for each day that I have now.

Why can't you see that? Why can't you be happy for me? Why can't you support me? Rather than always picking on me, why can't you just be quiet if you can't be happy or support me?

I can never understand why you're treating me like a black sheep, treating me like I'm absolutely capable to take care of myself financially and physically like the rest of your children. I'm a student, if you haven't notice though I'm no longer a dentistry student.

Why can't two parents, one brother and one sister, all grown up have some mercy and take care after me? Why don't anyone even bother to ask what's been going on with my life?

Do you really think my life is perfect?

Do you really think I am perfectly fine? Perfectly happy? Perfectly HEALTHY?

You have no idea what's been going on with me and you'll be sorry when the time comes. By then, it'd be all too little, too late.

Still, whom I didn't expect, came and extended their birthday wishes to me. Along with heartfelt prayers and words of encouragement.

"Happy 22nd birthday!" They said.


More like a hollow one. Always have, always will.

Monday, December 29, 2008

For The Apple of My Eye

Time flies by so quickly and this coming 2009, my niece, my only niece, Nurul Hana Khairul will be entering kindergarten-hood.

Seems like it was only a few days back when I first visited her in Taiping Hospital with me, in my school-prefect attire shortly after she was delivered.

I may not be the best person she could look up to for the best and finest things in life but one thing I am sure of, she would always have my support for everything that she does and will do in the future. As Mother Theresa once put it, if we judge people then we wouldn't have the time to love them.

Little for me to do, I bought her a new school bag from KLCC - pink, Princess Barbie, trolley bag, as requested personally from her. And to accompany the newly-arrived bag (I won't buy off-season and discounted ones for my little princess here, God forbid), I bought her a matching pencil case with everything she might need - pencils, erasers, color pencils and so on.

Make your dedet and umi proud, dearest Hana. Pak Su loves you a lot.

Monday, December 22, 2008

MySpace People

So, I have a MySpace account for more than 4-5 years and of course, I've met a thousand and one kinds of people online.

Which are exactly my point of rant today. These sick people really got me going.

I mean, c'mon we all have been through that ugly phase. In my case, the phase when I assumed everything I saw on TV and magazines would look good on me as well.

Cue: Tight-tees, colored sunglasses, crazy poses in front of camera (self-pics, of course) etc.

You get the idea.

But, that was like 7-8 years ago when I was 13 or 14! When you're doing it in your 20s or 30s, it's no longer the hormones' fault. It's all about you and you're the one who needs to wake up.

I don't really add 'friends' like most of them. And of the people who requested to be in my friends list, I'd say I rejected about 95% of them.

That explains why I only have around 190-200 friends though I've been around for close to 5 years.

I'm not snobby or anything that rhymes with it. I dis-approve those I knew wouldn't fit me or my preferences, and of course to avoid this kind of blog post.

Unfortunately, some of the lucky bastards whom I approved turned out to be quite un-approving.

There's this (gay) guy who has his profile name 'bridged' with Britney's new song title, and that alone doesn't serve me well. Do you really have to do that to make you look cooler and more chic? Because it doesn't.

It's like adding those '-licious' behind your stupid, unflattering Malay name (yours is just fine, Yummy). I mean, have you ever heard of profile named 'Chonglicious', 'Sivalicious' or even 'Muthulicious'. It's always (in my case) something like 'Inalicious', 'Zullicious' or 'Faralicious'.

Does it sound flattering? NO. Silly, stupid, immature, gross, diarrheoa-inducing? YES, YES and YES.

Maybe Fergie sounded cute with her Fergalicious. You = Not.

Anyway, back to the stupid guy with his and Britney's song names both combined. For a start, I shall just say that his face is a far cry from 'dashing/handsome/drool-worthy'. Not even 'pleasant-looking'. Maybe just a plain 'OK' but that too is a generous label I put, since his face is covered in mammoth pimples and warts.

A perfect candidate for 'The Taxonomy of Acne and its Related Family' subject. For reals.

I'm not really being a judgmental one here. But I couldn't help myself from having a slight judgment after browsing photos after photos of him in his profile. What really got me going about him:
1. Self-pic everywhere. In front of mirror. In LRT. In foodcourt. In his house (I supposed). In bathroom. Theme? Manja-manja poses (think Alicia Silverstone in Clueless, except she is a guy with acne-throbbing face and trying to put on the most manja pose). Being gay doesn't permit you enough to pose in such ways.

2. Dressed to kill (more like suicide). White-rimmed sunglasses (so last year), mohawk hairdo (even more last year), glittering tee, tight-skinny jeans. And where was he heading? KARNIVAL JOM HEBOH DI STADIUM BUKIT JALIL. Sigh. Why not head to pasar borong too?

3. Many (I mean it, many) topless pics. As the saying goes, if you got it, flaunt it. But the person invented the saying forgot to add 'If you got nothing, put your clothes back on and shut up'. His body is so out of shape and I think I would still win over him though mine is blah too. But, do you really need to expose it to everyone in this world with a shapeless body like that..and dotted in warts like your face? Please don't do it!

Unfortunately, he already did.

In one of the picture, it was a close-up of him from chest-up. Sexy-pouty lips, acne and warts (no less), no clothes with black spots of old pimples (?) are visible all over his chest and shoulder area. The caption: 'I'm lonely...'

..and I totally know the cause! Hope he knows it soon. The quicker, the better. Sigh.

And there's another one.

A Malay girl of 15-16 years old. I wasn't too sure, but one thing I AM DAMN sure, she's in love with her boyfriend.

And how do I know that?

Because it was all over the profile and the news feed!

She updated her status every 2 minutes with things like ' XXX (her name) sayang sama YYY (her toyboy's name)!!! aku cintakan YYYY!!! tak mahu bepisah sampai bila2!!!!!'

That annoyed me.

I was in love with someone before too and I know how it felt inside, but I wasn't so audacious and shameless and dignity-ripped to put that kind of status every 2 minutes, every day!

If I'm lucky enough, there would be status like 'YYY tanya aku kenapa aku sayang dier, aku ckp aku x sayang dier, aku cinta dier!!! XXX cintakan YYY!!!!' or 'aku nak mati sama2 dengan YYY!!! cinta YYY sampai mati!!!!' or even 'YYY ckp dengan aku hari ni, dier cintakan aku sebab aku comel!!! XXX cintakan YYY!!!!'

God, after I finished this, I'll let this post floats for a while for them to read it (if they are brilliant enough, they will know) and I'll do massive friends-list overhaul. Yes, I have posted this one on MySpace as well.

Some rats just need to be shown the way out.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Birthday Comes Early

Though still about 10 days away, birthday comes early for me this year. In this case, it's a pleasant one.

Muy pleasant! I've been officially Vuitton-ed.

Much, much thank you to Mr Mohd Khairi Khalil for the prezzie. You know I owe you big time (and big label).

Happy 22nd birthday to me :)

Saturday, December 20, 2008


Today, Dec 19 2008, I decided to have some private me-time around the city. Decked in my black basic D&G tee, checkered shorts from Guess? (my favorite silly shorts) and flip-flops from Camel Active, I head to the Upper Mid Side of Kuala Lumpur a.k.a Bukit Bintang.

I made a stop in Etro, chatting away with Eyrja before knowing that my friend canceled our supposed-high-tea together. Dayum.

Like heaven-sent, Nik, my favorite stranger called asking if I was in Etro and decided to hang out with me for a while since he was already there in Pavilion. We hang around for a while before he decided to ask his two other 'friends' to tag along.

It turned out, by friends, he meant Anuar Zain and his sister, Ziana Zain.


I was starstruck for 2 minutes. Since there were two of them, so I was officially starstruck for 4 minutes. Ha, mathematics!

Four of us went window shopping in Gucci and Prada, checking out stuff while chit-chatting in between and I had to control myself from going ga-ga knowing they were here with me. God, there I was in Pantai Dalam not knowing where to go and the next few minutes, bam, I was in Pavilion hanging out with Anuar and Ziana Zain.

Oh, Ziana Zain was carrying Louis Vuitton's Monogramoflage tote which look somewhat like this one below, only smaller. This was the 'it' bag like 6-7 months ago and it's SO last season to carry it right now. Oh, well maybe she didn't care much about it:

This wasn't my first time meeting them. Most of the time it was more like bumping into them and totally NOT hanging out together.

Is that cool or what? Hehe.

Then only it occurred to me how my friend Nik could be acquainted to both of them. Ziana's hubby is involved with Malaysian Airlines as well as Nik. No elaboration needed, I suppose.

I didn't stay for dinner with both of them though they insisted (well, sort of. Or maybe they were just trying to be all nice and congenial. Who knows?) I head back with a grin from ear to ear because I had promised to have dinner together my hommies.

Sigh. What a day.

Friday, December 19, 2008


So, I have received some feedback about this new layout and all of them are more like complaints.

Chewah, complaints. Macam website kerajaan pulak.

Some told me that the alignment went all wrong with the posts shifted to the left (or right?) though I have checked through my Firefox and Safari browsers and both didn't give me any of the problem. So perhaps it has got to do with one's computer resolution compatibility to the layout.

And just now Ri told me that he couldn't post any comment and I've checked it and yes, it is true.

So many hiccups. I guess I just have to reboot to the good ol' layout then. That's until I make a new one minus all these probs.


Thursday, December 18, 2008

End of Season, End of Year

My last day and in my working attire. C'mon, gimme a break will ya?

I had written a post earlier but I scrapped it off as it didn't sound more like me. And I'm not really sure of what I should be saying here, or more appropriately which one to tell first because there are lots to tell.

If you have read my blog (more like a personal rant) before, you'll notice the new layout that I put here. It took me 5 hours to select, edit and publish it according to what I like and I must say, I think I should do something more to it. Don't you agree?

Anyway, I still like the whole new cheeky-layout of my blog. Hehe. Much better from the previous narcissist-layout, yes?

I ended my month-long stint last few days and to my surprise, it was much harder than I imagined. Call me sentimental, but I didn't know that I could be that attached to my job, or more appropriately, the store. Felt like leaving my children forever when I was doing my final stock-check and closing down the store shutter.

Sob sob. Hehe. Perhaps I was overcome with emotions. Fuck that. Haha.

The thing is, the job was not that bad. It was good actually. I learned to appreciate money much, much more, I learned how to manage myself and to fit into people around in the real world. I now have a new sympathy for the working class, as Samantha Jones in Sex and the City said.

The Swarovski-studded frog in my boss' room. I'm gonna miss you, Bling Froggie.

New semester's going to commence soon. I'll be in my second semester of the second year and I'm all prepped up for anything.

I'm planning to be a total nerdy next semester. I'll be a full time student - no nonsense, no whatever. I'm a student, so I must not complain about workloads. Finger-crossed.

And what do you know, 2008 is about to come to an end. In a matter of weeks and days, I'll be proclaimed a 22-year-old lad. Gosh. I'm feeling old and getting old as well.

To suit this end of year mood, what song will suit better if not Auld Lang Syne. This one is my favourite, sung by Mairi Campbell and Dave Francis and I first heard it on Sex and the City The Movie. This song brings out the memories of the outgoing year and make you reminisce about all the things close to your heart.

Don't go and hit 'Pause' just yet. Listen first and you'll love it. Trust me.

Enjoy and have a great end-of-year days ahead.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Juicy Jeans

What's the most interesting thing about sales? You can get usual items for a much, much lower price of course, silly!

I got this new pair of jeans which I totally love from Juicy Couture for Men. I was informed that Juicy Couture was having an end-of-season sale and although I couldn't make it (due to work), I dispatched my loyal hommie, Abg Ayi to be my eyes and hands (and wallet too).

I told him I wanted a pair of jeans that's not too edgy, too crazily ripped or heavily studded here and there. Just a simple one which I can wear for every day use. And of course, only if the price was reasonable as a pair of Juicy Couture jeans cost around RM850-RM1100.

And he got me this one! El perfecto!

What a bargain and I love it. The thing with these high-end jeans is that they fit perfectly and you will fall in love as soon as you slip your legs into them. Juicy Couture is available in Couture Pavilion, Pavilion Kuala Lumpur

Monday, December 8, 2008

Away From Home on Raya

What a very long day. After I bid goodbye to my hommie, Abg Ayi in Puduraya, I was so clueless of where to go to kill my time. After much contemplation, I decided to buy a train ticket and head to Pavilion.

There wasn't many people, though it was Sunday and in the afternoon. I stopped by Etro, where I worked and Anya Hindmarch (located opposite of Etro) to do some bug-job to Kak Azfar and Jue in respective stores.

Then, I took a stroll around the mall and checked out some things, reluctantly.

The Marc Jacobs tote that I wanted was still there for 30% off. Wonder when I'll get it. Oh, Bally has some cool messenger bags and totes as well. There was a band playing what-seemed like Christmas carol in the Bintang Circle.

That was it.

I headed up to level 6. In Times bookstore, I found comfort browsing through the pages of a book called 'The Qur'an: A Biography' by Bruce Lawrence. A very good, educational biography about what he said as "one of the greatest and most misunderstood books in history". Even as a Muslim, I learned a couple of new things from it.

Moving on. It was just shy 10 minutes to 3pm and I was already clueless of where to go next. Home? Not yet. I couldn't be going home just yet. I'd be awfully, dreadfully lonely at home in front of my lappy doing nothing but engaging myself with the internet. Facebook in particular.

But most of my friends wouldn't be Facebook-ing anyway. It was Raya's eve, remember?


I walked to Lot 10, had a drink there and pleasantly bumped into an old friend, Peter. Had a little (much needed) chit chatting and catching up with each other.

It was already dark by 7pm, with thick black clouds up above indicating an approaching heavy downpour at any time. I boarded the not-so-surprising-less-crowded monorail back to Sentral Station, sour face included.

As I look out, from up above, the city looked different. Less vibrant, less people, gloomy and totally lacked the oh-so-exciting vibe. KL was so dull that night, it seemed.

Like Carrie Bradshaw once said, she never considered herself to be single because she was attached to the city for 20 years. But somehow, like on a night like this one that I had right there, she felt betrayed and jilted by the city she loved.

Boy, I totally feel that.

Due to the nature of my work, I couldn't be going back for my Eid ul Adha. Actually I could but it wouldn't be worth it to travel so far up north just for a mere day and having to work on the very next day. Totally un-cool.

It seemed so easy at first when I first knew that I wouldn't be home for Raya. But it started to kick in when you see one after one of your hommies left, the usual stall where you buy your lunch and dinner closed for holidays and so does the groceries store. Everything around you stood still, dark. No crowds. No nothing. Even RapidKL buses and komuters were empty.

Everyone had left KL but me. I knew it wasn't a 100% true statement but it made me felt that way.

Thank God there was another human left in KL. My good, good buddy since I was 16, Hanz called and asked me to keep him company for the night and I was totally affirmative to that proposal. Around 1am, he sent me back and I called it a night after checking my Facebook and Myspace for any comments/messages (none, by the way).

I woke up to the sight and sound of heavy rain. There goes my noble intention to join the rest of Pantai Dalam folks in Eid ul Adha prayer, I thought. So I continued to sleep again.

Woke up at 8am to the sound of Raya takbir. The soft, melancholic signature Raya takbir really touched my heart. One lonely soul stuck in KL on Eid ul Adha. One warm teardrop slipped the corner of my left eye and hastily, I pulled back the blanket and continued to journey into Lalaland.

As I woke up at 11am, I had 3 text messages and 1 misscall from a private number on my BlackBerry. Two text messages from Abg Ayi, asking me how were things and one was from Mama, asking me where I performed my Eid ul Adha prayer (on bed, Mama) and what did I have for breakfast (just some smelly drops of saliva so far).

It was still raining. And until 3pm, my Raya was all about munching on Jack & Jill barbeque flavor and watching Sex and the City season 5.

By 3pm, still raining, I headed to KLCC. Met my great friend, Chong Jin. We had late lunch (actually I did, he didn't) and continued talking almost about everything.

I bought some stuff to eat in Cold Storage and headed home. Alone again, so far. Only Aboy was home, except that he was a cat.

I'll go to sleep now. At least tomorrow is not Eid ul Adha.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Happy 56th Birthday, Ma'am

Regardless of your political views, this woman deserves your attention and applause for her determination and courage to brave the dirty realms of politics. One minute she was the silent spouse of a deputy Prime Minister who was never in the lime-light, the next minute she was the anchor of the family with an ousted husband, a president of a political party and the voice of hope for many.

On this December 3rd, happy 56th birthday, Datuk Seri Dr. Wan Azizah Wan Ismail. May you Lord continue to smile upon you and your journey.

Monday, December 1, 2008

This Made Me Smiled The Whole Day

Thanks Puan Sri for the November salary. I CERTAINLY look forward for my December's.

I *heart* my part-time work, not yours 'coz mine is cooler. Wink wink.

Hehe ignore me.