Thursday, October 8, 2009

Being Single Means not Married

While laying in bed last night, waiting for the next boat to LaLaLand, my mind wandered and an episode of Sex and the City flashed in my mind.

I'm not sure whether it's from Season 5 or 6 but I do remember it's title: 'A Woman's Right to Shoes'. Yeah, men can relate to it as well. No shit.

In the episode, Carrie goes to a friend's house for a baby shower/baby birthday party/baby welcoming party (I forgot the occasion) with her best friend, Stanford. Upon arriving, they had to take off their shoes before entering as the host is such a germ-phobic. So, like it or not she had to leave her silver 'd'Orsay' Manolo Blahniks (picture above) outside and as the party ended, no surprise, the shoes gone missing.

The interesting part, and the core of the episode, is how her friend - the host - reacts. Instead of apologizing and offering to pay her back for the shoes ($545), she gave Carrie a sort of cynical sermon on why Carrie shouldn't spend so much money on a pair of shoes.

That ticked Carrie off, and so do her other sidekicks - Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte.

There's definitely some truth in that situation. Single individuals are often seen as a 'defect' - to put it nicely - in a society. In the eyes of married people (mostly), being single isn't regarded as another way of life, but merely like a transition state until one finally settles down with a spouse.

Until then, single means the big L. Loser. Single people have to obey to the rule of thumb set by married ones.

I definitely against this dogma. In my firm belief, those who are married and single should always respect each other's position, not patronizing another or dictating on what's right or not for the other party.

Married and single individuals live different lives. Just because married people have more responsibilities and thus need to tighten their budget by spending more on their family's necessities rather than miscellaneous stuff, doesn't mean the same would apply to free, single individuals who have no other commitments than to themselves.

Of course, they are responsibilities to the parents, mortgages etc too but the same goes out to married ones as well.

This isn't merely a depiction seen on the fictional now-defunct TV series, but as my other posts, I speak based on my experience - the relentless comparison between me and other married people, which I think is not fair. It's my choice to splurge a little bit more on myself for clothes, shoes and other what-nots - simply because I don't have anyone to support, any mortgage to pay and any other responsibilities other than myself.

Same goes to Carrie in the series. It's her choice to fork out half a thousand bucks for a pair of Manolos. Who are we to say that she's stupid, incomprehensible and not-wise when all she got for her to please is solely herself. Truth is, there are millions of real-life Carrie Bradshaw who are often being unfairly criticized by other commitment-bound married people.

I'm always an avid supporter of the freedom of speech. That's why I allow anonymous comments here in my blog. However, though I support everyone's right to express themselves, I believe we should just leave it right there as our expressions - not to the extent of patronizing the other person.

Each individual has his/her own way to live life and we wouldn't know it until we take a walk in their shoes.


lolahunny said...

Hey kye love,

This is a good one. I love reading your blog dear.
xoxo hani

Khairizan Yaacob said...

aww ur truly a doll..miss ya heaps hunny :)

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