Sunday, February 27, 2011

A Note to a Buddy

Dear buddy,

It was a real pleasure to meet you earlier tonight - as always. It remind me of how blessed I am to have such a great person like you as a close friend. After we have split the bills and bid adieu, I still thought about you and what we had discussed in the cafe (in between our silly jokes).

Naturally, I will say that I totally understand what you are going through right now while comforting you. But, I know no matter how much you share with me or how long we talk, I would never fully grasp your predicament.

However, as a concern friend, I can only offer some advice and comforting words based on my own experience.

I have had the 'privilege' (if you may) of going through so many ups and downs thus far in my life. Hence, what I am about to say doesn't come from a self-help book but directly from my own self. Who's better to give you some suggestions from the one who had been there and back?

Honestly, I have the utmost respect for your brilliance although I rarely brought that up in between us. I admire your quick-handedness and your ability to pull through even in the most dire situation and courses. I could never do what you have done, be it in school or in college, and why would I lie on that? I can easily pin-point ten people who would die to have less than half of your intelligence and loving persona.

Thus, it breaks my heart to see you crumble into pieces due to some misfortunes you faced recently, though I know it meant a lot to you, personally. I'm so sorry for not being able to do more at that time due to some personal commitments and the most I could do was offer some soothing words through the phone.

If I may say this to you, you have certainly missed out the larger picture. You overlooked a whole other opportunities waiting for you and tapping at your door. A hiccup doesn't mean your speech is screwed. A stumble doesn't mean you can't get up ever again.

You ought to look at the situation this way - 'Okay, I didn't make it. So, what's next?' There's no point lamenting on the past. As I have shared with you earlier, you have to make full use of what you have right now. Damn the people's expectation - they will still eat, breathe and carry on with their life regardless whether you flunked or excelled in your examination.

People can say a thousand and one things about what they want you to be but are you really living for them? Is this what you really want to be - pretending you're happy as long as you're forever applauded for doing what they like?

For a change, why not take a slight detour. Cast away the tears, hold your head up high, get a decent job, excel at it and show them what you're truly capable of. Show them that you can still excel in your own mold. Take some pleasure by doing what you want with what you have without having to worry about others.

As the saying goes, when life gives you lemon, make lemonade.

I appreciate how you said you always looked up to me for some guidance but I have to warn you, the road towards victory is full of tears, sweat, perseverance and lingering nay-sayers. It is never easy. As I have shared with you, I'm still in the journey to prove some people how wrong they were by saying I had made the wrong decision 4 years back. It's never easy but you have to be strong along the way and please keep in mind how wonderful the place at the end of the road would be.

Most importantly, learn to love yourself. Nobody's going to love you more than yourself. Learn to accept your limits, your flaws, your imperfections and all the less-than-pleasant things about yourself that nobody but you know. Start to care for yourself as only by doing it, you can finally see how inane and wasteful those 'Why me?' moments are.

You are a wonderful person with a disgustingly brilliant brain and such a pleasant attitude. Don't let it go to waste due to some minor setbacks. With all of my love and support, I wish to see you successful, cheerful again and find peace in your next step in life. You can always count on me to stand by you.

Through the darkest night, comes the brightest light.



ibby mueller said...


Anonymous said...

I am so sorry to come in between.Just so happened that I know Khai and You.Is evrything ok?Be strong.


Nina said...

Oh Lord... it’s utterly heartbreaking to see someone so passionate working his ass off to impress others yet so vulnerable, leaving him empty and cold with suppressed emotions =,( You’re absolutely right when you said one should learn to accept his own limits, flaws and imperfections that nobody, but he who knows best. That strikes so brilliantly (omg again, you blew me away... lol)... And that being completely honest with yourself is the key to unlock this. Thank you, khai... I wish you friend all the best & good luck! =)