Tuesday, September 16, 2014

"Breathe Out Hate, Breathe In Love"


Hate is such a powerful word. 

The disdain for something or someone usually starts with a mild 'dislike'. You dislike this and that but it is still tolerable. Then it develops into 'despise'. You are clear of your aversion toward something or someone but it is still very much in control.

Finally, here comes 'hate'. The big sister of the three - the badass of them all. 

Hate means to know that you don't like something or someone, and to have a very strong feeling about it. Most often than not, it is made known publicly. For example, you hate a particular person and you make everyone knows (including that poor person) of your feeling toward them.

It is normal to hate something or someone you barely know. First impressions can be deceiving and lead you to that God-awful sentiment. Basically you're gathering information just from your observations and what you learn from others, and made a simple conclusion that you hate this/that or him/her. Simple. 

In short, you hate what you don't know.

However, is it possible to hate someone or something you've already fallen head-over-heels with, especially with a person? To know, to love and then to hate that person?

We often hear how relationships turn sour and the best of couples can be arch-nemesis to one another. As they say, friends make the worst enemy because they know inside out of your life and can use it against you. Same goes for partners/husband-and-wife.

But, if we really love someone and claim to have known them really, really well ('We've known each other for 10 years!', 'She was my best friend for 20 years!') then why would they turn their back on us and pave the way from love to hate?

The answer is simple: we never fully know someone and will never do

I'm a firm believer that learning is a life-long process and that applies to learning the people around us as well. People don't stay the same for oh-so-long - they change. That's what humans do. We adapt to changes, to aging, to surrounding, to technology, to improvements/degradation.

How many times have things like this crossed our mind: 'I didn't even like this when I was studying!' or 'I used to go crazy over chicken rice but now I prefer western food'

Even we, ourselves, change. What makes us think that the people around us will stay the same?

I always say relationship is a two-way street. It requires work from both sides. Doesn't matter if you're talking about romantic or casual relationship, if only one side is doing all the work, frustration starts to boil and hate creeps in. 

Actually it starts with dislike, then despise and finally hate - in that order.

To all of us who always wonder, why would someone who used to love now hate us? The answer might be in our own two hands. 

Maybe we're not playing our part. 
Maybe we're not paying more attention. 
Maybe we're too complacent and lazy to work things out. 
Maybe we simply don't care and think things will take a turn for the better by themselves.

There are reasons why the ones who used to talk so softly to you, now screaming and nagging all the time. There are reasons too why those who couldn't stop talking and giggling with you, now prefer to be left alone and quiet. 

The reasons are in the maybe's

Until we've have gone through all the maybe's, don't be too quick to put the blame on others and preach to them to 'breathe out hate and breathe in love'.

The world doesn't need another pair of enemies. Let's fix where we go wrong and avoid that 'dislike' from escalating to 'hate'.

I hate 'hate'.

juicyword@gmail.com
Instagram: @kby87

1 comment:

Ri said...

good advice, khai.
thanks!